addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
