So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
