Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Found your dick twin last night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize