Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
