this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
this will be a night to untag.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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