the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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