I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
