A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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