Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
