didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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