Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize