a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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