oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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