she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
