doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
