when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
