Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
