Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
