Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
