You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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