tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
