Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
