question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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