and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
