I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
