In the future we'll all be gay
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
