Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
