So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
