He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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