my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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