Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
