ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize