She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize