Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
