The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My vagina just recognized that song.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
