Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You pole danced in your parka.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
