just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
