these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
