i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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