Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
