he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
