I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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