the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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