i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize