my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
