Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
