yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
