I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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