Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
