We're facebook friends in real life
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
