If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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