That's intense
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
