My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
