well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize