ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
