If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
