The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
