Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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