Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
