He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
