sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
