My room smells like vodka and shame
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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