I accidentally had phone sex last night
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
