im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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