Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
