Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
